I know it has been awhile since I have posted, there just not much I have been wanting to say lately. It has been a little busy around here, esp. for Am with her working about 30 hours & going to school 12 hours a week. I haven't got to see her much lately, at least it seems that way but it gives me time to spend with the boys, we have men time. Plus when Amy is off from school & work we make sure we spend family time together.
If she can make it till the end of next summer she will have her degree in Pharmacy tech & she can move from working in seafood to the Pharmacy at the store she works at. Then while she is working there she can finish getting her degree in Medical Assistant. She hopes to get a job in a doctors office so she can work Monday through Friday with weekends off & hopefully the major holidays off. She mainly wanted to go to go back to school so she "better" herself, her words, not mine. Also she wants our boys to go to college, or at least a Tech. school & she didn't want to make them go when she didn't go.
Santa is going to bring the boys some good presents this year, I hope they get most of what they wanted for Christmas. Now that they are getting bigger they are harder to buy for because they know what they want & what they don't want. We have to go this week & finish getting them their gifts, we are running out of time, the holiday is getting closer & closer.
I have been doing alright I guess, I have leveled out, I am not as high as I was a few weeks ago which is good. I figure if I can stay leveled out & not start going down I will be alright, esp over the holiday season. I have been thinking on somethings from my past, things that I remember that nobody else seems to remember.
It will make you wonder what part of your memories are real & what isn't. I remember things from my childhood that my mom doesn't remember, I also remember things from my teenage years that my mom & sister don't remember. There are times Amy tells me of things that I either said or did but I don't remember.
That is bad enough not to remember certain things or remember things that might not have had really happened, however when you are prone to psychosis it puts it onto a whole new level. It makes you wonder how much of your memories are real & what are imagined. It makes you wonder what part of your life is real & what part of it is from the psychosis, it can really mess with you.
As of now I am doing alright, I am pretty sure of what is real & what isn't but I'm never really 100% sure. I haven't been 100% sure of anything for a long time now & I doubt I will ever be 100% sure, but if I can get around 90% I figure it to be a good day.
I want all three of my boys to have a happy life, I hope they will enjoy life & can know peace of mind. I worry about Trystan however, he is already on Stratterra for ADHD, & Topamax for his Bipolar& he sees a tdoc, & a pdoc, which I hope is a good thing, we caught it early & maybe he can have a more normal life. However like I said it makes me worry about him, I don't want him to go through what I have went through or to go through anything worse than what I have experienced.
He is a smart young man, he has been on the honor roll & he makes A's & B's in his subject except spelling but he brought it up from an F to a C+ this semester, if he can get it up a little more he will be on the honor roll this year. So he is ahead of the game already, I was lousy at school, I hated school, which he does to, but he is so much smarter then I was.
I also hope if Donavon or Jaydon winds up with Bi Polar we will catch it early & hopefully they can have a "normal" life, but if we are lucky they wont have it. I worry about this almost daily, God knows I don't want any of my children to have to deal with this & to know that Trystan already has this illness scares me for him. All I want is for my children to be happy in this life, to be able to love & be loved.
Donavon is already on Ferrous Sulfate , & Vitamin C because his iron level is low so I worry about him having Hereditary Hemorrhagic Telangiectasia.
We went for his yearly evaluation for his speech at school last week & he is improving on his sounding out letters but they informed us that he failed his hearing test. They said they will retest him because he had been out a few days before the test was taken from being sick. So they want to make sure his results wasn't affected from his cold.
I hope that is what it was, I hope his cold had just not cleared all the way up when they took his test, this is what I hope, please God show mercy.
Jaydon went for his yearly eye checkup & they informed us that his bad eye had gotten a little worse. So they made his prescription a little stronger. We have to take him back on the 27th to check his sight again to see if patching his eye would help any.
I do not know why it seem like all of my children have a little bit of what I have. Trystan got the ADHD, & Bi Polar, Donavon got the speech problem, & Jaydon got the bad eyesight, if they are lucky none of them will get the H.H.T
If you haven't read my other posts on about the illness of H.H.T & wonder what the heck it is, here is a site you can check out to get a little information on it.
What Is H.H.T
0 Feedback.
2007
Thanks for the tag. I'm glad you like tmy place; feel free to come back any time. 
at my place for those sad, hurting, feeling alone and dealing with old wounds 
Havent been by my site for awhile. 
I got a new post up you may want to read. 
Hope you have A BLESSED Week 
if your interested. 
at my place, come on over if you like. In any case my your holidays be stress free and blessed, remember you are truly an amazing unique spiritual creature 
and you are loved 
Sometimes we forget such thing 
, have a good thanks giving. 
Bravenet Blog 
Blog Community
Get a Free Blog
Manage your Blog
bravenet.com